Who Farted?

Don't you hate being on a
crowded elevator?

Have you ever farted in an elevator full of people? This is the most opportune time to fart in an elevator…..when it’s jam-packed, and people can barely move. This creates utter chaos, but there is one interesting observation that can be made. If you break wind in a confined space such as a full elevator it becomes very hard to identify the perpetrator of the crime. This is known as the Principle of Farter’s Anonymity or POFA. The POFA states that when in a crowded area, the farter can release gas in close vicinity of the fartees, and due to the large number of people in that area, the fartees will not be able to pinpoint and distinguish the farter. This results in blameless (not shameless) relief for the farter. This principle can be applied in all sorts of environments such as restaurants, bars, movies, waiting rooms, the library, church, and the shopping mall. So if you are somewhere with just a few people, and you have to fart, hold it in. If you are somewhere full of people, let it fly. Just remember to let it out slowly so it is silent. No one will ever know it was you. There is one thing that will immediately place blame on the farter (whether they did it or not) and cause the principle to backfire. Never announce “Who Farted?” This results in immediate invocation of the He Who Smelt It Dealt It rule and immediately assigns blame to that person. Some things to remember: 1) If you have to fart in a crowded public place, let it out slow, 2) Never acknowledge the fact that you did fart, let someone else take the blame for the stink, and 3) Try your hardest not to shart, that is a dead giveaway.