Laws of the Universe, Vol.1

The Universe Has Many Laws

I like to observe people’s behaviors, actions, reactions, etc. That’s actually one of the few things I enjoy about the mall, I’ll tell you the biggest reason in a future post….it is worth the wait. Anyway, over the years I have noticed that when one person loses weight, another person close to them gains. I have dubbed it The Law of Conservation of Fat.

I have seen hundreds of cases of this phenomenon occur over the years in different locations, mostly school and work. I have documented several cases at work over the last year. I have worked to drop a few pounds and noticed some co-workers packing the weight on. Some of the conversations have gone like this:

Co-worker: “Are losing weight?”

Me: “Yes thanks, are you getting fatter?”

Co-worker: “Yes as a matter of fact I am. I can’t seem to figure out why.”

Me: “I’ll tell you……It’s the Law of Conservation of Fat: Fat is neither created nor destroyed, it only passes from one person to another. “

Co-worker: “What the hell are you smoking? I should have HR do a random drug test on you!”

Me: “No really, it’s true. I lost 25 pounds, how much did you gain?”

Co-worker: There was a long pause then "25 pounds.”

Me: “Aha! See I told you so. My fat was floating around the office and since you were in close vicinity it latched on to you. I think I gave you a high five over the big game during football season. Physical contact makes the transfer of fat that much easier.”

SKINNY PEOPLE BEWARE! The next time an overweight person bumps into you it might not be an accident. They might be exercising their knowledge of the Law of Conservation of Fat. You may be next in line to pick up the weight they have lost.

FAT PEOPLE BEWARE! Though it sounds like fun and could yield a high level of weight loss, DO NOT go running through crowds like a chip on the Price is Right Plinko game or a ping-pong ball in Beer Pong.

REMEMBER: The fat is out there. It has to go somewhere.  Be mindful of your weight, and if you start to pack on the pounds remember the Law of Conservation of Fat!