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| Some questions are better left unanswered....... |
First time fathers-to-be, heed warning! Six years ago my wife broke the news to me that I was going to be a dad. Yippee! Parenthood! This was cool! I thought it would be fun. There needs to be a book for 1st time dads that tells you how to handle certain situations that arise while waiting for the birth of your bundle of joy. You need to remember that a woman’s body does change during pregnancy, and you need to choose your answers to questions from your wife, girlfriend, whatever, very wisely. This is a time when it is ok to lie; lie like there is no tomorrow. Lie! Lie! Lie! I was presented with the following question 5 months into my wife’s pregnancy: “Is my face getting fatter?” This is where I should have thought things out a little longer. My immediate response was “No, but your butt is getting wider.” Abso-frickin-lutely the wrong answer! It just shot out of my mouth like a Jack Daniels overdose. My reply should have been something like “No, your face is as beautiful as ever.” Needless to say I was called some words I have never heard before. I went to work the next day and told some of my male peers who were already fathers of my slip and every jaw hit the table. The most common response was “You are a dumbass! What the hell were you thinking? You lived to tell about this?” MEN OF THE WORLD, LISTEN TO MY WORDS AND TAKE NOTES! If you are asked this question or something similar, tell her what she wants to hear. Do not, under any circumstance, tell her how you really feel if you are asked questions about weight gain in any region of the body.
It's a MAN thing; sometimes our tongue is connected to our brain & the 1st thought often comes out without editing. Especially when your minds on something else like a basketball or football game or checking out (oops! cancel that). Just turn the TV off; process the question; then edit you answer (as in: what does she want me to say. LIE!)
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