T-Shirts for Everyone!

One size doesn't always fit all...

Have you ever seen the “one-size-fits-all’ t-shirts? Who in the hell thought up that bright idea? I was looking at some websites for cloths and noticed that this sizing category has recently been changed to “one-size-fits-most”. Shirt sizes just don’t seem to grow proportionally. They get shorter and wider or longer and narrower…..they just don’t seem to do what you would expect. Being a person who falls outside the “most” category, I’d make the following extensions to the traditional t-shirt style line-up to help alleviate the t-shirt woes of millions of people around the world.

The “TA”- Shirt: Ideal for those who like to have their ass hanging out of their pants but still covered by something other than their jeans or underwear.

The “TB”- Shirt: Ideal for those shaped like Grimace (the big McDonald’s purple gum drop-shaped character). This shirt is shaped like a bell.

The “TC”- Shirt: Ideal for those shaped like a beach ball, the shirt is circular in shape. It somewhat resembles a silhouette of Mickey Mouse’s head.....those aren't ears....they are the sleeves!

The “TD”- Shirt: Ideal for those with smoking hot bodies. Also known as the “Daaa-aaaamn baby you look good” shirt

The “TE”- Shirt: Ideal for those egg shaped people. Humpty Dumpty has nothing on this one.

The “TF”- Shirt: Ideal for those shaped like a football, narrow at the top and bottom and fat in the middle.

The “TG”- Shirt: Ideal for those men who have large beer guts. Every man needs a good roof over his head. That roof needs to be covered from the elements as well. This shirt is also very popular among pregnant women.

The “TH”- Shirt: Ideal for those ladies with huge hooters, especially for the Dolly Partons, Morgannas, and Elviras of the world. These shirts have extra room for the “girls”.

The “TI”- Shirt: Ideal for those shaped like an I-beam due to larger than normal love handles.

The “TJ”- Shirt: Ideal for those ladies with a slightly smaller chest than the TH-shirt. Made for the slightly smaller uber-boober for extra juggy control.

The “TL”- Shirt: Ideal for those who like a super loose shirt. It’s like a tent, only with holes for your arms and head.

The “TM”- Shirt: Ideal for those men with extra stuff in the chest region, a.k.a. moobs or man-boobs.

The “TP”- Shirt: Ideal for those men with erectile missfunction. This shirt has extra material in the nether region in case your soldier decides to make an involuntary salute.

The “TQ”- Shirt: Ideal for those who want to show the world how queer they really are.

The “TR”- Shirt: Ideal for those shaped like the Michelin Man. It contours to all the rolls and curves and is ribbed for your pleasure.

The “TU”- Shirt: Ideal for those who just want coverage on the upper back, chest, and shoulders. This shirt drapes over the top of the body like an umbrella but lets the lower part of your torso breathe.

The “TV”- Shirt: Ideal for all the couch potatoes out there. This shirt is silky smooth for repositioning yourself without getting your shirt all twisted when spending the day napping on the couch.

The “TW”- Shirt: Ideal for those who like edible cloths. This shirt was created by the great Willy Wonka himself.

The “TX”- Shirt: Ideal for those who like minimal coverage in warm weather and like to show off the goods underneath in an X-rated way without being topless.

The “TY”- Shirt: Ideal for those whose upper body parts bounce around like a yo-yo. This shirt has extra support in all the right places to control the bounce.....minimal ounces to control the bounces.

The “TZ”- Shirt: Ideal for those shaped like a zeppelin. This shirt is wider than it is long. 365 of these will definitely make a good year.