My Son and His Junk

It's ok to love your junk.

My son is a gear head. Gears are one of his biggest obsessions. If it is mechanical he likes it. I taught him how the brake system works on a car about 2 years ago. He still remembers at the ripe old age of 5 and still likes to tell adults about it. I think we’ve fed his obsession over the years. On Christmas, 2 years ago, my parents gave him a bucket of plastic gears…..one of those types of things you would find at an educational toy (what a frickin’ oxymoron) store. It was love at first sight. A few months ago, my in-laws found a few buckets of the notorious gear toys at a garage sale and bought them for their house.  The one bucket had all sorts of fun things like lights and slinky-like plastic springs. I came home from work one afternoon. I was greeted by my wife “Do you know what your son did at my parents’ house today?” I immediately thought it must have been something stupid, perverted, or stupid and perverted since she was referring to him as “your son”. She continued to tell me “He took one of the springs in the bucket of gears in my parent’s basement, hooked a gear to one side to weigh it down, held it in front of his crotch, and said “Hey Grandma, look how long my junk is!” to my mom.” Needless to say, my mother-in-law was not happy.  I immediately started laughing then was told by my wife “Will you stop it and go yell at him. He can’t be doing that.” I went into his room to talk to him about what he had done. Somehow I kept a straight face and explained to him that his actions were not cool and there was a place for his antics…..that place is called college. Every man is eventually proud of his junk, some just arrive at this place in life earlier than others.